life isn't complete without the details.

reflections. you look and it and it stares back. does it help? Was thinking how i must have made a fool of myself on many occasions. like i think it's just the way i am.. do something, then walk away feeling stupid. damn, it sucks. perhaps it's only me, not understanding the world.. sometimes it just confuses me. the way life is. it moves too fast.


Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.

can't get started on sch work.. not so soon anyway, not on the weekend of it. maybe i just can't sem to get much done.. in general i mean.. dunnoe.

I need sleep. lots of sleep. like whole day headache, never so long.. but i put it down to lack of sleep.. let's hope that's all.. in a daze for so long. dragged myself from place to place.. wow, surprisingly awake now but i noe i need sleep.

Just had to say this.. love my og.. ok, friends from there. u noe who u all are.. haha, yea we are how roxy..
love ya all forever, from the bottom of my heart. =)

Spent the whole day out again. for two days liao.. part of the reason why my parents are pissed at me.. but dunnoe why.. see no reason.. watever, still can survive.. ha. Pool at marina was good. place's great, price very much isn't. enjoyed it totally. anyway, sky garden at suntec is nice.. ont the kids throwing stones though.. haha, entertainment. dangerous too.. ha, like just hanging around. slacking with not a care.. but no time most of the time.. how come i feel like i should get some work done.. strange but i promised myself not to touch work at least this weekend.. ha, but still got to do a GP essay. like how shit.. and so much to catch up i'm screwed..even maths trigo how hard.. din concentrate for last few lect.. and to mention bio.. sheesh, it's starting again. it's like we're stuck in this cycle.

Oh well. So i have nothing to prove really. But the pressure's on me to deliver. So be it, I can do it. If not me, who? ha.

Exhausted. Bio was no fun.. as if it would ever be.. how can mugging be fun. sheesh. singapore is a sian place. or maybe we're just sian ppl. after common test was nothing much to do.. everyone just disappeared. so strange.. ended up shooting in the rain for a while before going orchard.. couldn't ppol cuz bloody guy at mambo din allow half-u. screw him. and later went with other friends, the same shithead din allow us to use someone else's membership card.. like we do that all the time? screw off.. go eat shit. had to go that shitty place in the end.. most hated pool place. so ex and so bad tables.. so rough no one can break.. shit.. still got to improve skills anyway.. so. but actually i'm pooling quite a lot liao.. can't. One of my friends should just buy a pool table.. like got friends got big house and money.. only thing is parents.. but come to think about it, if anyone really has one, we'll be camping there everyday.. no good.. watever, nothing works.. crap. i have a feeling this weekend will be a short one, though physically it's longer than usual.. looking forward to inter-fac games liao... quite fun helping in the organisation.. bball again.. yes. long time never touch basketball liao, really bad. hope i'm not rusty.. oh yah, met a couple of ri baller at orchard today.. were asking me about whether they can make it next year.. i was like of course lah, we how suck.. i think next year will be half j1s half j2s, really crappy.. watever, they're better than us..

Was quite a nightmare today. Migraine whole day.. counldn't concentrate much.. so screwed.. could do about half the questions. hmm.. can't really care already.. the last two papers are my suckiest, so don't matter. i better show some concern soon. for the first time, i really thought why am i doing bio? it's so hard, so many things to mug. and i dislike mugging damn a lot.. will have to hang on.. then had like 2 hours to study bio.. like it's so possible to cramp 6 months of bio into 2 hours rite.. will do what i can tomorrow. sheesh. will be very happy to pass. would be a miracle too. wow. let's see.. can't imagine how i can pass. never felt so bad about a test.. and so damn hopeless. and so give-up-hope.. hope won't do TOO badly.. i need lots of luck. LOTS.

feeling not too bad for physics.. will see later

will be trying to get in as much physics as possible later and tomorrow morn.. damn, it's hard. to concentrate. like why do the etachers purposely make the papers so hard for us? whta is their point man..

Still gettnig the massive headaches.. especially toward the end of the papers.. just killing me. think there's someting wrong.. hmm, hope not. Every time i wake up there's this whole atmosphere of heaviness that just won't go away.. but it's a reason not to want to wake up.. there're just too many things i'll miss. alright, 2 more papers to gp.. jia you!!

Chem paper today was quite bad.. spent too much time on one question and ended up with only about 30+ mins for section C.. and i think i got that question wrong. wow. Sighz, no time lah.. Think tomorrow could be worse. hmm.. bio is like give up hope liao. really too much to have to mug.. way too much, insanely much. Will try nevertheless, never give up. yah rite.. face the truth man.. been looking at cell bio, one chapter and my head's exploding. can't take in anymore, need a break. which is now. had to play cm. still suck at it. well.

I guess i've changed the way i look at relationships. all kinds of relationships yeah. I mean, things look so different and much more complicated.. or maybe it's just me. or maybe i just suck at these things. actually, yes and no. think i'll need time to rearrange myself, and position myself better. just can't take shit anymore. one-way traffic really sux. or maybe it's 2-way seen as 1, i'll kill myself. must rox more. but right now, i don't trust myself. used to do a lot of stupid things, esp when i look back now.. is it too late liao.. let's look forward and not forget the past. it might not be the past yet.. not just yet. like i said, i try to make things happen, at least i'd like to. don't want to make the same mistakes again.. bless me

Damn sian! There's a limit how much one can take in in a day.. yups, enuff studying i hope. chem tomolo, better be good. realise the papers go from my best to lousiest.. ha, good observation. Anyway, can't say i'm really good for any science though. watever. Really nothing happening, guess everyone's busy mugging.. hmm, can't wait for this to end, but then after this, there's always the usual work schoolwork to do.. the usual piles of lectures, tutorials, stuff.. can't see an end to all this. Damn, still a long long way to go man.. gotta hang in there.

Hmm, must say it doesn't feel much like common test week. rather relaxed, reminds me of o-levels.. ha. o-levels was slack too. though prelims was not. prelims last year was scary. mad mugging. hate mugging. i don't feel the pressure for this common test. Is that good? My mum surprisingly doesn't seem to care much.. Seem. Well, hope to do well. Hmm, hope that's possible? =)

Looking forward to a day of rest tomolo.. tho not much relax i think. yeah, enjoy ppl.

MAths paper today was quite fun. Did leisurely at the start, so had to rush a bit at the end.. Alos discovered got some careless mistake. Developed a headache towards the end. Had it the whole day. Can't believe me, sab, jiaqing, alvin went pool(&mug?) for so long after test. crazy.(note to sis: cannot let parents noe, or they'll kill me.. haha) was quite good though. fun stuff. the sajc ppl were getting on my nerves tho, don't know why. Had to use my brain and not do something stupid, they had 8 ppl lah.. haha. Yeah, and funny that guy who played me & jiaqing. like we could beat him lor.. ha. Maybe we're just good. Yeah, practice is goood. Yep, will be doing much more after common tests, of course. Went home half-dead, really tired. tried to sleep, couldn't. dunnoe why. i realise i don't know a lot of things, yeah. still half-awake-half-asleep thru the night. couldn't get anything done. damn. tmr must do alot. Can't wait for common test to end. Had my easiest paper today, so the three sciences will be tough. I need a combination of many things to pass.

Yay, common test tomorrow. Really excited, as if. Hope i've done enuff, but you can't tell what's enough with the way teachers are out to get us. Will have to be really careful, esp with maths first up tomolo. And it has to be my best subject, so yah..

Today was a slack day. Din mug much, only looked thru some maths worksheets, that's all. But then, since maths tmr, don want to mess my brain up. haha. Have fun ppl.. will be busy this week.
Was watching star search just now. All of them are real good. thought M4 would win, sigh. The winners rocks. Expected both of them to win. At least the singapore girl was quite pretty.. haha. watever.

Dunnoe when i'll be back. cya.